The Toughest Transition Yet

My sister Erica had always been industrious – she delivered newspapers, babysat and got a job at our local library soon after her 14th birthday.

I took a more laid back approach.  I figured I had a lifetime to work, why rush it?

My mom had a different idea.  The summer I turned fourteen, my mother told me it was time for me to get a job. So I collected my working papers and she drove me to the library.  As we pulled up to the front door, she told me to go inside, apply for a job and “tell them your sister works here”.  It felt like I started working at the library the next day.

I’ve been working some sort of job ever since.  From being a page at the library, to a receptionist in college to my most recent job at the Girl Scouts, I’ve pretty much always had a job.

So when we decided to move, we knew that one of our biggest transitions was not necessarily living in China, but rather, the transition of me not working outside of our home.

We were right.

In the past few weeks, while Rob and the kids have been getting into their grooves at work and school, I’ve been trying to figure out my new normal.  The good news is that there are a lot of ‘trailing spouses’ who are in the same boat as me, so I don’t have to figure this out all on my own! But it’s been a big transition nonetheless.

With some time on my hands, I tried to figure out why working was important to me, other than the obvious financial reason.  I figured if I knew why work was  important, then I could devise a plan to meet these need in Guangzhou, with or without a formal job.  Maybe a bit too much analytics, but hey, I’ve got time :).

This was my “What Work Provides” list:

Something I Liked To Do – One of the simplest thing work did was keep me busy – and when I was lucky, I loved what I did.  Here in GZ, I actually have stuff to keep me busy, some of it I like, some of it I don’t.  In the past week, I’ve met countless times with the travel agent, taken Mandarin lessons, attended a Girl Scout meeting, a Boy Scout meeting, a PTA coffee, a Zumba class, a cultural exchange club, church along with all of the standard things that come with running a household.  I’m hoping to add a few more interesting things to my schedule;  this will definitely help my transition!

Comradery – Another thing I enjoyed about working were my co-workers.  Like most people, I’ve had a few co-workers who I didn’t want to see coming, but for the most part, I liked the people I worked with.  Here in Guangzhou, I’ve been fortunate to find a group whose primary purpose is to provide comradery to female expats, the Guangzhou Women’s International Club (GWIC).  There are teas, lunches, field trips, book clubs, charity events – you could literally do something with GWIC every day of the week.  I’ve joined and already attended a few activities, and they are top-notch. I’m already so grateful for GWIC.

A Problem to Solve – I realized what I’m missing most by not working in a traditional job is using my brain to solve problems. I like to ponder puzzles, generate ideas, come up with solutions, test them out, and watch them work.  While trying to negotiate the price of flowers in Mandarin does present a challenge, I’m in need a few more thought-provoking problems to attack.  So I’m on the lookout for problems that need solving – whether via school, a course or a part-time job, I’m ready to take tackle them all.

I’m surprised at how much I miss working , but I am giving myself time to fill in the gaps – and I’m confident I’ll fill most of it in.   I guess my mom was right – work isn’t so bad after all.